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I cant sleep [03 Jan 2007|12:43am] I fucking slept through both of her phone calls, I woke up a minute after the second one :'( Once you have flown, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward; for these you have been, there you long to return ~ Leonardo Da Vinci post comment

[31 Dec 2006|03:36pm] this christmas break and new year has been so fucking lonely post comment

[08 Dec 2006|06:49pm] Lately i've been falling like a falling bomb post comment

[05 Dec 2006|07:30pm] I embrace my Desire to Feel the rhythm, to Feel connected Enough to step aside and Weep like a widow, to Feel inspired, to Fathom the power, to Witness the beauty, to Bathe in the fountain, to Swing on the spiral of Our divinity and Still be a human post comment

[30 Nov 2006|03:56pm] [ music | All that remains - This Calling ] Not falling victim to the fire that burns inside of me though I am fearful I can not prevent this tragedy My strengths been tested I wear the scars that prove Still I believe that this calling will see me through post comment

[28 Nov 2006|07:47pm] Let me repeat Shut the fuck up, I'm sick of you and your bullshit post comment

Fuck. [27 Nov 2006|07:17pm] Nothing tears the being more than deception. post comment

Missing... [22 Nov 2006|10:18pm] [ music | As I lay Dying ] i tried so hard to wake from this dream... but instead realized that i never fell asleep post comment

[21 Nov 2006|07:04pm] So today I made a 47 on a chemistry test. a re-test, the 3rd re-test actually. lets see first test 82 second test 86 third test 47 huh? 1 comment|post comment

[20 Nov 2006|03:29pm] [ music | Avenged sevenfold - I wont be seeing you tonight ] work is going to be boring today and cold brrr post comment

[16 Nov 2006|07:35pm] do you hear the jet plane yawning miles across the sky? do you hear the garbage truck back down the boulevard, setting off the car alarms as it passes by? do you hear the static of one thousand detuned radios? shut the window, love. keep the world outside. I don't want to think about anyone but the footsteps are getting louder, drowning out the sound of the rain, as it knocks on the windowsill. I'm not answering the phone -- let it ring. lately I've been feeling like a falling bomb. the ground is getting closer and the sky is falling down. ~ Thursday - This song has been brought to you by a falling bomb. I've been reading Fahrenheit 451 and it's kind of scary how many of Ray Bradbury's predictions of the future are hitting their targets. post comment

[07 Nov 2006|03:23pm] She looked so beautiful there, hair wet and rain rolling down her face. post comment

Crying can't make somone love you, tears can't bring back a dead person. [31 Oct 2006|11:40pm] [ mood | vulnerable ] [ music | The Spill Canvas ] I wonder how many people waste their entire life crying or praying to God. Crying can't bring the dead people back. It can't undo wrongs or get someone to love you again. God can't bring a dead person back either. Maybe God is really just inside of us. That way we can choose to be a good person all the time, we can choose to keep all the sadness away from us and surround ourselves with happiness. But that doesn't happen. I mean there has to be a reason people don't do good things all the time. Like how there's a battle of God vs. Satan. Or Good vs. Bad. maybe that's why people do bad, because they lose the battle they should be fighting themselves. It shouldn't have to be God vs. Satan, but You vs. Evil. Evil doesn't even have to be Satan, not everything is a product of good and evil. or maybe people just do bad things to remind themselves of the good. Like being in love. Part of the trade-off of being in love is being heart-broken and miserable. How would it feel if everyone was perfect all the time. We'd forget what good, love, and perfection really are. post comment

.I [24 Oct 2006|09:38pm] I didnt realize it was this possible to miss someone in such a short amount of time. I am broken, but tomorrow I will be whole again. post comment

:D [21 Oct 2006|09:46am] [ mood | :) ] [ music | The Used ] Seemed to stop my breath My head on your chest Waiting to cave in from The bottom of my... Hear your voice again could we dim the sun And wonder where we've been maybe you And me So kiss me like you did my heart stopped Beating such a softer sin (I'm melting, I'm melting) In your eyes I lost my place Could stay a while and I'm melting In your eyes like my first time That I caught fire, just stay with me Lay with me now Never caught my breath Every second I'm without you I'm a mess ever know each other Trust these words are stones Why cuts aren't healing Learning how to love, I'm melting In your eyes I lost my place Could stay a while and I'm melting In your eyes like my first time That I caught fire, just stay with me Lay with me, stay with me, lay with me now You can stay and watch me fall And of course I'll ask for help Just stay with me now The Used - I Caught Fire We could take our heads off Stay in bed just make love thats all Just stay with me now I'm melting, I'm melting In your eyes I lost my place Could stay a while and I'm melting In your eyes like my first time That I caught fire, just stay with me Lay with me In your eyes I lost my place Could stay a while and I'm melting In your eyes like my first time That I caught fire, just stay with me Lay with me, stay with me, lay with me now In your eyes lets sleep 'til the sun burns out I'm melting in your eyes post comment

[15 Oct 2006|08:59pm] "Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything." - Pedro Arrupe, S.J post comment

[12 Oct 2006|04:07pm] [ mood | I cannot feel my mouth ] [ music | Thursday ] Let me prefice this song by thursday called Where The Circle Ends with my relation to it and to people. Okay, first of all, this song is about depression, how we, as people dig ourselves into these impossible situations to get out of. All some people manage to do is put themselves into the same cycles and are unable to get themselves out. Like co-dependents, they require someone in their lives at all times. I am not going to be a hypocrite and say that I've never hopelessly been in love with someone who doesn't love me back. But there's a certain point, I've been there too where you just begin hurting yourself and the people who love you. Due to something beyond your control you begin destroying yourself, emotionally, physically, mentally, and socially. And what is all this pain for? Nothing, you're just putting yourself through the same thing everyday in hopes he will take you back to his heart, if you look at everything that's happened you will realize that maybe you were never really in his heart at all. this I don't know for sure. but maybe it's best for you to think that way. Look, he's over you, don't give him the satisfaction of knowing you're on your knees in front of him, completely throwing yourself at him. I realize that this may have been quite hard to read for a certain person, but I felt it needed to be said. I still love you, I don't hate you or anything and it is not my intent to hurt you, but to help get over this boy. Mountain ranges Mourning red bay at the bridges Stab up at the coming blue horizon Grey slides loosely off rooftops Lands on the Incan desert ground and dies A flock of little men touch down on the surface of the porchlight Bronze fist soldiers return To watch the twilight across the faces Skylights ignite and explode Scattering shards of april around the room No one even lives here We're too busy crashing our cars every morning at the same house Paving the same roads Unwilling to walk them And even when we extend ourselves, its only to be included In a world that's standing still And so often we don't struggle to improve conditions We struggle for the right to say "we improve conditions" And so often we form communities Only to use them as exclusionary devices And we forget that somewhere man is beside himself with grief And somewhere people are calling for teachers And no one's answering Somwhere a man stands, walks across the room, and breaks his nose on the door And somewhere these people are keeping records And writing a book For now we can call it "The Book About the Basic Flaw Or "The Book About the Letter "N" Or "Any Title That a Book About a Man That No One Cares About Might Have" And as we turn the pages we call out the sounds of nothing The sounds of a vanishing alphabet Standing here waiting post comment

[12 Oct 2006|02:26am] [ music | Fallout Boy - Chicago is so Two Years Ago ] I just wanted to say that I'm so glad I grew up since this summer. and I have her now. she's more than I could ever ask for. She makes me feel higher than any drug or drink I could find. I absolutely love her with every ounce of my being. :) and i'm listening to Fall out boy. what the hell? post comment

My Rebuttle; Musicians [01 Oct 2006|10:09am] The ratio of good to bad musicians has not changed. The only thing that has changed is peoples overall opinion in music. Look at Kanye West. He is one of the best rappers and musicians out there. But he is a rapper which is why Jane does not like him. Same thing with people like Snoop Dogg and other country singers. Just because you do not like their music does not discredit their talent. I will admit that there is a large category of  music that is just all the same thing that's been commercialized. That happened in the 60s and 70s as well. I mean look at Foreigner and sticks. That's like the equivalent of our green day and Panic! At The Disco.  Also, alot of talent in pure musicianship and theory is being used in the hardcore scene. Hardcore bands like As I lay Dying and Avenged Sevenfold make perfect use of the scales and their lead work is just stunning at times. Again, it's not the ratio of good to bad musicians, it's about how willing you are to open up your mind and listen to something that isn't exactly your cup of tea. (p.s. I'm eating a porkchop biscuit from hardees, only in America) 1 comment|post comment

Think for yourself, question authority [29 Sep 2006|04:00pm] [ mood | :D ] [ music | Tool - Third Eye ]  To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable, open-mindedness; chaotic, confused, vulnerability to inform yourself. ~ Timothy Leary 1 comment|post comment

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